So I overslept this morning and missed my first Zumba class. I’m going to write about it to make up for it. I’ll totally burn the same amount of calories sitting here on my ottoman drinking coffee.
Just finding a decent gym in this town is its own workout. One place had like a hundred-year-old lady chain smoking and guarding the front desk, another on the first floor of a building provides a show every Friday night for a crowd of skeevy men who line up on the curb to spy in on the bouncing booties and bosoms of Zumba class, and then there’s the yoga place located on the border of the Doctores neighborhood, not a place you’d want to be walking around wearing Lycra after dark. I went with the lesser of all gimnasio evils – a lugar directly above a taqueria where espinning, zumba and tae bo classes cost 25 pesos a pop.
The first class I tried was the aforementioned espinning (spinning). When I saw my classmates, I’ll admit I thought I would kick all their asses and totally beat them on our fake bikes. But I’m pretty sure those ladies could put even Lance Fuertebrazos in his one-balled place. I had to keep taking breaks and one time the pedals kept going on without me and nearly arranca’d my sneaker off.
The whole time we were spurred on by house music and by the wafts of tacos al pastor that inevitably crept in through the windows. Finally, we had spun to our destination – Crunchtown. I hate me some ab workout! Alas, I soldiered on and crunched through more house music. After about a million agonizing sit-ups it was time for the cool down, which consisted of lying on the floor. I’ve been to my fair share of random aerobics classes and the cool down is always a key insight into the mind of the instructor. Just what does he or she find relaxing? Back in the states it’s usually some form of Buddha Bar New Age chime orchestra. So, what did our instructor – a sweatsuit wearing 30-something male- choose to play? Dido? Nope. Los Cranberries? Nah. How about a rock ballad from Mexican superstar Alejandra Guzman? Sure, what the hell.
Lyrics to Volverte a Amar (Loving You Again):
Porque siempre caigo rendida cuando tu me llamas/ Porque siempre a cada minuto te vuelvo a extrañar/Eres para mi desde que te vi/ No te dejo de pensar. /Y es que tengo tanto miedo de volverte a amar.
Because I always grow weak when you call me/Because every moment I go back to missing you/ You’re a part of me since I first saw you/ I won’t stop thinking about you/ The thing is I’m very scared to love you again.
Uh, that song about taking your lover back didn’t make me wanna cool down. It reminded me of my feelings for the greasy tacos calling me from the floor below. Osea, I’m scared to love them again.